


Not trying to be a hero

by orphan_account



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, READ ALL THE TAGS PLEASE!!!, Self-Hatred, Swearing, There is no explicit rape scene but it's mentioned and implied a lot, Whump, al won't eat, al works at a gay club as a drag queen and occasional prostitute, au where they all get arrested at the rally, he's such a creep, mentioned prostitution, please watch out folkss, snyder is the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23976919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: jack is upset because albert isn't eating. all the newsies are in the refuge after the rally.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Not trying to be a hero

**Author's Note:**

> watch the tags!! be safe!!

“I ain’t trying to be a hero!” I shoot back. “And you’re one to talk, givin’ all your food away jus’ like I am!”

“You admit it then?” Jack asks testily. “Because a minute ago you were sayin’ that you’ve been eatin’ every meal.”

“I eat some of it.” I say, avoiding Jack’s gaze.   
“Most I’ve seen you eat at a time is two bites. So stop fuckin’ lying ta me!”

“You lie all the time, Sullivan. Guess it’s jus’ what pretty boys like us do.”

I know I crossed a line, but he did first when he yelled at me.

“Albert you-”

I go back to my bunk, ignoring everyone’s stares.

It’s Jack’s stupid fault that we’re all in here anyways.

He’s the one who started the strike, the reason we all got arrested at the rally.

He’s the reason Snyder caught us all in his web.

And the Refuge is the reason I haven’t been eating.

It’s not like I’m wasting the food, I’m giving it to the littles who aren't used to not eating as much.

Why am I not eating?

Well it’s not what Jack thinks.   
He says I’m trying to be a hero, I’m not.

I’m just not hungry.

A lot of it is that the Refuge makes me lose my appetite.

Snyder is an absolute creep, and him knowing my second job doesn’t help.

My job at Paresis Hall.

One of the guards went there for a drink, saw me, recognized me out of makeup when I got sent to the Refuge the last time.

He tried to make a deal with me, said he wouldn’t tell Snyder if I… y’know… if he could use me as a free whore.

I obviously refused, because I only do that for pay and only by my choice, not force.

So the guard told Snyder, and…

Snyder showed me what Jack’s private lessons are.

The ones that don’t leave marks from a belt, but fingerprints on the hips.

Jack doesn’t know Snyder’s given me these lessons, and he also doesn’t know that I know he’s received them.

The disgustingness of all that makes me not want to eat.

That’s the main reason.

The other reason is the mental abuse, being told I don’t deserve food.

So I eat a bite then give the rest to the littles.

The only problem is, Jack noticed.

And he doesn’t know the gross reason.

I can see Jack moving to come talk to me more when the door to the bunk room opens.

“Red.” Snyder says sharply.

He came in person to get me, he didn’t send a guard.

That means gross personal lesson.

I wince slightly and stand.   
“No, Spider.” Jack says. “You had him yesterday, let me take his beating.”

See, we were just fighting and he’s still defending me.

Protecting me.

“You can come too, Kelly. Both of you. Now.”

Jack starts to protest, but Snyder glares, and we simply follow him to his office.

“Jack, I-”

“Quiet.” Snyder says harshly, locking the office door. “I heard you two shouting. Maybe it’s time you tell Kelly you know his secret.”

“I-”

“What?” Jack’s face flashes with fear. “When you said pretty boy-” Jack looks at me, suddenly understanding. “You didn’t tell me that you knew about me-or that-Al did he-”

I nod slowly.

“Why I lost my appetite lately…” I mutter.

Snyder only laughs.

“I know about little Albie’s rising career as a whore.” He smirks. “Albert, why don’t you show your dear friend Jack how to really please someone? He seems to always have trouble obeying. If you do a good job, I won’t use the whip on the little ones later.”

How can I eat, having heard those disgusting words?   
Knowing what I let Snyder do to me?

I’m not trying to be a hero, I just want to help my friends.

If I suffer, I suppose it doesn’t matter at this point.

**Author's Note:**

> what did you think?


End file.
